I me myself

They saw me grow but not mature,
They want me to be theirs but not mine,
They want me to be perfect in their imperfect world,
But I cant leave, as they live for me.

Her wake guided me through my struggles,
In her I saw a part of me, or I thought I saw,
She drifted disgusted, when I reached out,
So I have to leave, as her path is destined to be different.

They travel along with me and relate to my trails,
They lend an occasional shoulder or an ear,
I cannot weigh them down, paining with my frails,
I travel with them keeping my distance, to lend them than to be lent.

To always lend an ear neither consoling nor encouraging,
To be there for everything,To be there without any scorn,
To motivate and pick me up when I fall and pat for the small steps of success,
It will always be I being me for myself!!

Karna's Cry

The child in a basket floating through the deluge,
Fighting through the cusp to find the refugee,
In mother destiny's lap,
Being the lucky one left in solitude to fight.

The dark destiny meandering on the top,
The vultures circling to feast the corpse,
The basket of life drifting into the oblivion,
Its my deed holding a life's yearn.

The weight of the chariot piercing my arm,
The arrows shredding my heart,
The revered one plotting my  harm,
And my own blood cheering my last breath.

A teacher's revered hand,
A brother's soothing shoulder,
A mother's warm lap,
Pass by my severed heart's grasp.

Feeling the ache to sing to the world,
Its not kindness but victory,
Its not loyality but the birth of right,
Its not righteousness but the perceived truth.

Now the final thread,
Holding me afloat on the chasm,
Is least required in my final abode,
I give it to you, oh the giver!!

Hope

The fruit of success,
Is like a game of chess,
The more he thinks,
The lesser he blinks.

But life is no game,
And this acceptance is no shame.
The joy of the soldier,
Is not in the eyes of the beholder.

Waiting to impress the maiden,
To accompany to the Eden,
The soldier embarks his quest,
Unarmed in his chest.

Journey is not arduous,
As the end is joyous,
Is the haven of hope,
that pushes him like an ethereal dope. 

The solitary Mansion

On a tortuous path,
Oddly filled with filth,
At your hand's reach,
A facade seems above breach.

The steel more than credible,
Protecting the incredible,
Solitary mansion,
Brimmed beyond expansion.

A pair of dove,
Like angels from above,
Merge in the scope,
forming the beholder's dope.

Noise of the merry,
Is like the topping cherry,
And the want of the leeway,
Cannot be subdued midway.

Promise of the greener side,
Lets the time abide,
With a great hope,
The great hope of the warmth.

A progeny's cry

That simple voice,
A person to rejoice,
For each step I take,
Even if it is a mistake.

The hope that the tiny boy,
who was your bundle of joy,
Has become your vision,
without any revision.

The rude shock,
when this progeny failed to dock,
in the haven of your choice,
will sure mute your voice.

It is not a lack of love,
nor an eruption of arrogance,
But is the personal dove,
Driven by my ambition.

Completely in your debt,
Born out of the strength,
rubbed of onto me by your breath,
And not just my sweat.

With the security of being your pride,
I mold my own ride,
Keeping you in my heart's abode,
With everything you bestowed.

The unique sojourn

Source : abighairyspider.blogspot.com

Through my hawkish vision
I look back at my mission
The might of the tortuous choice
In the large labyrinth, shattering my poise

Though there is a need for a guiding hand
To disperse the confusion with a magic  wand
It's a luxury that I can ill  afford
traversing the horizon on my own accord.

 

The journey has never been even paced,
I sure  want a few paths retraced,
An adulation for where I am,
And my destination shown without a qualm.

But scripting every rule,
Making decisions like a fool,
Has gains that's Unwritten,
That keeps me glued and smitten.

The sojourn of a fellow higher animal,
Has effects in you that's minimal,
Never fearing their dis-repect,
Its your strength that you will not suspect.

Avoiding the jitters to venture alone,
Than connect being someone's clone,
Revering hands that guide,
And travel ahead as their comrade.

All can say if its good or bad,
Point at things that went right or wrong,
But I will always be glad,
And claim its my song!!

The forceful companion

Retrieved from google images

You earthly passe with no form,
With a diabolical control over me,
You raise above the mundane norm,
And support like a root to a tree.

Fair is not a word I associate with you,
Neither do you connect with the people around,
Nor can you take my cue,
And after all you dont make me proud.

Not even death can extricate me
from your insatiable wantings
For somehow, you’ve embedded yourself
even in my own dark death wish

My majestic ego, neither can I embrace nor let you go,
You protect me and propel me to successes,
Pick me up when I am down, But only I know,
That there is no Victory at all against the fascist self.

To be or not to be!!

Along the banks of the river Rhine,
I walk along searching for words that rhyme,
To mask the thoughts about the past,
And forget the deed i detest the most,

Connecting to you is out of my reach,
So i talk to my soul but cant preach,
“Get past the error and move on with a smile,
It was petty but not vile, To invoke such a strong rile,"

The hope of seeing the light in my paths ahead,
And reflecting off  the confused soul inside,
Wanting but not waiting for a milestone,
Or a noble comrade to guide,

But now the broken pride gleaming bright,
Clouding the trust I broke,
Taking solace that I at least again tried,
To mend, swallowing my pride,

Marauding on carrying a latent pain with glee,
I am soft, but not weak to again plea,
The optimist in me will always hope,
Possibly in vain that "that angel" in you will be invoked,

True to the words of L.Cohen,
"Like a bird on a wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir,
I have tried in my way to be free"

Fight against the solitude

Behold the solitary soldier,
All alone running merrier,
From a beast whose diabolical strength,
Has driven the best to the very depth,
Of hell unknown to the mundane,
Taking the fearless warrior to the nadir,
Of confidence and plant the seeds,
Of self doubt and despair,

Just as the negativity around,
began to engulf me into a state profound,
Doubting the very roots,
Which once housed a cherubic personality,
Confused at the pace of the environ,
Muddled at the loss of the control,
And was ready to surrender,
like a petty man with a broken spine,

The fearless warrior turned around,
Piercing the beasts' eyes with his vision,
"Is that all you have got???"
His words made the despicable one,
Boil with a rage unknown,
And this rage fuelling the warrior's might,
Making my presence as important as a troll nearby,

A sharp pain at the depth of my heart,
The pain of rendering myself useless,
The pain of being a nobody,
sparked a will buried unknown to me,
And the impulse drew a stone,
Which traveled like a bullet hurting the beast,
And i laughed at the ungainly beast,
"Catch me if you can"
And so I am entering the race,
Hoping to give the beast the fight it deserves.

The mirror

Be glad there's a place in the world, 

That resonates the name in the cold, 

The overwhelmed reverence of the arrival,

Just reading the name from the list for survival,

Waiting for a sound to sate the monster,

Its just a placebo and a gesture,

For i want a space which i have never felt,

A possibility suffices to make  my heart melt,

or that maybe you swept my feet off the ground,

or may be i am clouded with the fear of not being around,

the warmth of thoughts about you,

lingering long after you are gone,

I wish i had known you better when we met,

I wish you learnt better about me when we met,

but ill get it off my mind, ill try the best i can,

ill remind myself you arent mine,

Even if it aint, I Want to last it a bit longer,

opening my eyes, it wont be hard,

opening my mind, not sure, but i will still be on guard!!!

Solitude

I entered a leeway all alone,
A lonely streak of thought worth savouring,
A smile that was worth waiting,
But alas!
Losing the sight of a shooting star,
Into the Zions unknown afar,
A price that missed my grasp,
For no fault of mine,
I wish i had known better during the Rendezvous,
Laying on a bed of trial,
Each layer reminiscing my frail,
The portent resonating in my heart,
That all is not lost,
The ambers of the past,
pushing me to further my quest,
Leaving behind a labyrinthine of guile,
Looking at the vast meaningfulness with a sardonic smile,
And the hope that I wont be leaving all alone!!

Freedom

Like the Sunlight babbling through cracks,
Thoughts emanating from occasional attacks,
Of creativity in the archaic brain,
To start afresh flushing the defeats down the drain,
The sun is bright and the flowers are singing
And the birds are saying you are free,
Free to know and grow,
Free to be part of a dream,
An incipient dream with no fears,
Hand reaching out to hand,
To become a part of "we" to build the Zion,
Hailed for what I am,
And respected for being what I want to be,
The ultimate irrelevance of,
The first among the equals,
Is the exact thing those immortals fought for,
And exactly what I will have.

The anti-revolutionary!!!

Day after day I walk out with a thought,
A thought that what if today would be the day,
That I will walk free in an envisioned Utopia,
Not terrorised by this namesake radical,
With a face that only his mother can adore,
Fortified with thoughts that every ‘I’ will abhor,
A Coward disguised as a martyr,
Who destroys and will slaughter ,
Misguided soul propelled by delusion
That life is but an illusion,
What if the next step I take would be my last,
Fear of having to be identified by a friend or kin,
Fear crawls into the room with envy and worry
Together they over come me, suffocate me, smother me
Knowledge of a celestial Guillotine ready to pounce,
When an egotistical maniac decides so,
This inspite of the knowledge,
That my frightened thought is his trophy,
While a group cheers my bravery,
Standing behind an impervious armour,
I am the gorge between 2 valleys,
Of contemplators and executioners,
Sealing my price-less fate,
While all I want is a breath of free air,
And a mundane life without fear!!!

Contemplation

Sitting next to a black hole of meaningfulness,
with the sunflower waiting for the laboured sun,
Out of its hiding from the midnight fun,

The opaque screen diminishing the brightness,
Gloom of the darkness never messing with the cheerfulness,
A threat of deluge from heavens above,

Still the effort without chagrin,
To sway in the direction of the miraged attraction,
No Knowledge of the extinguished flames of fire,

And the chance to reach the pinnacle flushed,
But not the hope to bloom,
Gently smiling at this contemplating beholder,

Quizzing on how things have panned out!
The gleeful words My life is no shit,
Ringing all over with his hands holding a banana split!!!!

The rival

Standing proud gawking at me,
The pride vibrant in your face, the radiance from distances afar,
People throng around you but have spared me,
I know deep down inside,
there is a pain that makes you who you are,
I act inward, you, outward,
your contemptuous interior masked by an unpretentious earnestness,
The reality Visible only to me,
and yet our differences not so very far,
No jealousy, no hatred plaguing my heart,
Knowledge of your banal and mundane mind incepting a smile,
One ray of priceless hope I see,
I know you the fullest,
And another priceless hope I feel,
You know me the fullest,
After all I am the meanest rival I can ever have.

The chameleon's song

The milieu he was in awe inspiring?
The attire he was draped in,the attitude,
And a smile that is meaningless,
To please the beholder so different,
To have no thoughts of his own,
But borrowed from his peers' hue,
He saunters wildly up and down,
Till some acquaintance good or bad,
Takes notice of this staring lad,
with a backbone of a Paramecium,
whos reaction to a news,
will be smeared by the cues of all around,
Killing off even an iota of freshness from his mind,
Breeding in the warmth of tried and tested,
Being unique only in killing individuality,
But he is not omnipotent full of miracles,
just a soul trying to make it better out there,
After all its the chameleon thats more equipped,
To fight and survive the battle of the fittest,
Than a good old human being armoured with thoughts of his own!!!

The road

Walking briskly savoring the natural charm,
Seeking to reach the place of my dreams,
Two roads stood in front of me,
one lonely traveler long I stood at the crossroad,
I sought for the milestone to guide me through,
Staring at it helped me no good,
Both the roads lead to Edens with varying magnitude of bliss,
No monsters, no angels on either of the solitary paths ,
the asinine decision of choosing one over the other,
is not as simple as reading from a vestige,
The emperor has no say in it,
Neither do his obedient subjects,
Additionally the beauty of the present is making me lazy,
Neither does it motivate nor ridicule,
The obscurity of means becoming the end looming large,
The thought of the ulterior clouding the present,
After all its just a choice,
The either of the choices never impediments your bliss,
Its the choosing process the actual purgatory of the damned!!!!!!!!

He who must not be named???

Ever wonder why in solitude I dont talk to anybody?
In the wilderness, I seek, I pray, I hope,
Asking straight from heart to the poignant self,
When I wake each day, before work or play
I talk to you,I solicit you,
Lot of questions that linger in my heart,
What is happiness? Such simple yet complicated word ,
No word can exactly match it,
Hoping that through the chilled breeze is your muted response,
Answering my senile queries,
Sometimes I sit and wonder,
Why do I always have to bother,
To question myself and you,
Its bcas I want to be you,
Yearning for creating, taking responsibility,
For the pettiness around,
Engulfed in the mundaneness I rarely understand,
The care that I get from you,
The hope I could seed the future I could create,
The dreams I could dash the lives I could ruin,
Simply make everyone smile, make a sundry of emotions vanish,
Why dont you destroy the seeds of despair,
I know its muddled,
To know you I should first know me,
If you are so complicated why make me the same???
is perhaps the only question I wanna ask!!!!

Dream on!!!

It was not the hanging gardens,
nor was it the most beautiful place I have been to,
I heard lots of noises,
but discernible were only a few voices,
I let it flow like a river,
There is room to be stupid,
Boundaries are defined without any boundary,
Day in day out i am there for ever,
I can be rhetoric,
The genesis can never be interpreted or incepted,
Fueled by a moonly power,
to make mirages a reality,
The fear of being Mundane and archaic is futile,
Focusing through my human lens,
The concentrated power around giving sense
I am glad to have dreamt and tried than not to have dreamt at all!!!!

Maths

Numbers Numbers Numbers,
we live for numbers, We live in numbers,
Life is nothing but numbers,
No of days we live, no of ppl we meet,
we eat pray and love only to count,
Be it the trophies that mount,
Or the remuneration for the work we do,
Its a region where being odd is equally probable,
Zero is the hero where space originates,
Mathematics is worth its weight in gold
Studying numbers here and there
Solving problems everywhere,
First, we study the problem
To get a clue
Just what’s the problem asking us to do?
Calculus giving us the direction,
Geometry the shape,
approximation making engineering a reality,
Transformation taking us to domains unknown,
Making life simple where reality stings,
ah mathematics if only life was as simple as you are!!!!