Shared Vision for Success

This is an excerpt of a very nice workshop conducted in the Area conference of Toastmasters held at Nijkerk this January by Gustavo L Guerriero. The speaker wonderfully highlighted the importance of having a collective vision for the success of a group. It is a concept that can be utilized in all walks of life.

Relationships built on unified goals

Having a shared vision for the team or board will have an enduring impact, since it turns the team into a social identity group. Social Identity Groups increase commitment and loyalty, whether to sports teams or brands or organizations. Its positive impact improves by reviewing it and the collective excitement about it regularly. 

In teams, organizations and communities, sustained desired change can be motivated by bringing the people into what is called, PEA (Positive Emotional Attractor) while creating a shared vision, and then periodically, reminding people of this shared vision and purpose.

You can attempt to create a tipping point and move a person into the PEA by arousing hope, compassion, mindfulness, or playfulness.

How do we do that?

Types of Activities that invoke the experience of:

1. Mindfulness: meditation, yoga, tai chi, Prayer, Physical exercise etc

2. Compassion: being in a loving relationship; having pets you can pet (i.e., dogs, cats) volunteering and helping those less fortunate,

3. Hope: thinking and talking with others about a future dream, personal or shared; being

4. Playfulness: laughing with others

Asking questions that arouse the PEA:

1. If your life were perfect and your dreams come true, what would your life and work be like in 10‐15 years? [vision/hope]

2. What are the values or virtues that are most important to you? What kind of person would you love to be? [mindfulness]

3. Who helped you the most become who you are or get to where you are?

How to guide the conversation?

1. Ask questions that are likely to arouse the PEA in the coachee

2. Pay attention to the tipping points in the coachee’s mood during the conversation

3. Evoke a clear image of the coachee’s ideal self or personal vision

4. Identify specific people or key relationships in the coachee’s life and whether they are resonant or dissonant

Final Comments:

• Remind people of the purpose or vision of the organization. This arouses context, meaning   and hope.

• Be prepared with cues or questions to help them into the PEA

• Be prepared to offer some of your own reflections on the same question –It often feels  mutual

• Be prepared with ways to bring them back into the PEA if they start to slip into the NEA

• Go by feeling, not performance

• Make it a habit

Do’s:

‐  Engage people

‐  Challenge 

‐  Listen

‐  Make people feel part of what is going on

  Keep them informed

‐  Involve people in the discussion

‐  Make people feel part of the organization

Mayan End, Retrospection and New Year Greetings

One of the most anticipated dates in the recent times has to be 21st December 2012, not just for the audacious plausibility associated with this date, but also for becoming a source of inspiration for countless comedians and satirists to show their ingenuity.This must be one of those non-events gathering such a huge anticipation just because people are bored. More than the mayan end, as an Indian what is disturbing is the Rape  and subsequent death of a 23 year old female victim in the capital city. May her soul rest in peace and so do the the soul of people losing their life every 5 minutes in the country due to some form of human neglect or atrocity  As heinous as the crime is, its the response of the general public that is really encouraging even if it borders emotional frenzy. If this emotional outrage converts itself into meaningful change in the attitudes, then all the means will have a semblance of sanity. The fact that it happened in the capital city and media is closely scrutinizing law enforcement means we can at least hope that the criminals would be punished eventually.

But more than the atrocity itself, whats more frightening is the fact that she laid unattended on the road for almost 1 hr without till the police arrived at the scene. There has been no protest against these ppl who were mere spectators. They must also share equal blame. These incidents in the last few days has made me retrospect who I am!

I am that person who has believed that education will bring a change in the mind set of people. I am that person who happily wants everyone other than me, do their duties to perfection. I am the person who is ready to break any existing rule to sate my ends and still scorn at corruption like i am not part of it. It all started from Nehru. Had vallabhai patel been the first PM this would not have happened. Subhash chandra bose should have been our first PM. All my sufferings are because of the past generation's mistake. I have no patience to wait in a line or wait for my turn, but still say that people around are barbaric and impatient. I am that person who thinks system is everything other than me!!

I am the person who says that reservation is bad for the system. Still I enjoy the social and economic benefits  my birth brings to me on a platter. I have no guts to stop my own kin and friends from making references to the origin of the people whom they meet.

I am that pseudo intellectual who has the absolute right opinions on every issue and will have no ears to the opinions that contradict mine. I am still not comfortable with the idea that i am born because two people whom i respect the most, decided to quench their craving for the cardinal pleasure. I need all the euphemisms to describe 'sex' and still am not ready to  talk about it to my parents or my kids. But still songs like munni bhadnam huyi and shiela ki jhawani are the biggest hits. And sunny Leone is a *****, but still she is the most searched person in the indian internet space. Indian men have absolutely no respect for women. It's due to their lack of understanding, immaturity and more importantly because of improper upbringing. 50 % of the parents had no role in this upbringing. it's all just the men. Mahatma Gandhi does not deserve to be father of nation because he was not chaste and slept naked with girls.

I know I have lived midst the god. His name is Sachin. He is god because he is good at something he does. I will either make a person god and will be ready to die for him. Yes sachin is god. Didi is god. Amma is god. Sourav is god. Bala saheb is god. Rajni is god. Yes I can also kill in the name of god.

I have all right intentions but no balls to take an action. Not even to stand up against the driver in a bus who fails to stop the bus long enough for a old couple to get in. Forget the gundas who molest girls. I cant go to the police  because they are all corrupt. All I can do is post messages in facebook, 'like' the emotional outrages of people. As soon as the media get another scam or celebrity wedding, I will forget the 23 year old and will not even know that she is a tip of tip of tip of the ice berg. Yes I strongly believe nothing will save India mainly because no one is ready to change.

Yes I am just another unique indian citizen.

P.S Wish you all a very happy new year. I really wish in 2013 I will be the change, I want to see in the society.

Over coming Depression /Mood swings

Recently I read somewhere that 1 out every 10 persons have clinical depression at some point of their life. Here u can find a few signs. But these are sort of extreme. Is it not? Most of us have lows and at some point feel empty and useless, though not clinically depressed!! Listed below are a few instantaneous remedies that have been beneficial for me. Please do remember its a personal opinion and I am no shrink!!  

Physical health vs mental health:
Physical fitness is an important aspect of our well being. It also has immense power to cheer us up!! A brisk walk, a long run, a nice cycle ride  etc!! Endurance sports other than making us physically fit, do impact our self confidence in a positive way. Personally I have 2 suggestions:

1. Running!! A simple way to relax yourself!! But we do need a motivation to run and sometimes its boring. But if u begin to enjoy running, its a wonderful self relaxing tool and u can never suffer from insomnia. Here is a useful link for wannable runners. U can follow the schedule even if u dont wanna run a half marathon!!
2. 100 pushups A friend of mine suggested this website to me!! Its an interesting scheduling and if we can do 100 push ups in 6 weeks we can do almost everything :D!!

So when your mood swings are gone, u would be in an awesome physical shape also!! Sorry Gautham Menon for laughing at you after watching Vaaranam Aayiram!! (The protagonist overcomes depression by getting a 6 pack which was ludicrous for me then!!)

Work Work Work!!

"Idle mind is a devil's workshop". So when you are feel low, keep yourself as much busy as possible!! If possible work 18 hrs a day!! So working means not just your professional life, but doing anything and everything!! Other than sleeping you must have almost no time to contemplate!! Working could be learning new things, doing some chores that you have been postponing or anything!! It could need no intellectual demand or it could drain your brain!! The latter is better. Learn new things, explore new stuffs. If you see its a superset of the previous point!! But it is very difficult as we are hardly at our productive best when not cheerful!! But who cares about productivity when one is feeling low :P!!

Target Small successes!!

Its mostly the time when we wont have much personal successes that u are feeling low. So a nice way to cheer ourselves would be to   break our day today activities into small competitions or trials!! Like if you are daily catching ur train at a particular time, leave your house 5 min late and try to catch the train on time! Dont ask me what will happen if I miss the train??? I have no answer!! But If you can catch the train, you have actually won something!! Savor that!! Build on such small things!! Making a schedule and sticking to it, winning a freecell game, completing an easy task quicker than usual  are some other examples!! Build on these small successes!! Again if you carefully analyse, its a superset of points mentioned above and is possibly the most difficult of the three points till now!!

Mother Nature!!
It is good to appreciate the things around us. Mother nature has so many things  serene and eclectic, that have the power to cheer us up.  This is the only thing that requires absolutely no effort from us. The beaches, cheerful chirpy birds, a calm sunrise or a sunset, a bunch of kids playing and many more.   

Have a creative outlet!!

Thats where hobbies are so wonderful. Do something so you can play the role of a creator!! And importantly appreciate it yourself than expecting others to do so. So blogging, writing, singing, dancing, photography, cooking and even playing sports!! Dennis Bergkamp for me is as creative as Pablo Picasso. Also try to pen your thoughts in a dairy or MS Word file. It has a two way benefit. You can understand better why u are/were depressed and have a hearty laugh when you go through those stuffs again at a later time.

Share if possible!!

Its always easy to share one's success. But we rarely share our fears and insecurities. Its always good to have a few ppl with whom you can do this and who are ready to accept you for what you are, rather than for what  you have done. But please make sure you select the right people!! Because this is a double edged sword and can have serious detrimental effect also.  And not always people will have time for you!!

 Seinfeld, panchatantiram and catch 22

If an episode of seinfeld cant cheer you up, better take up professional help. For tamil movie fans, watch panchatatantiram - the kamal classic especially the half an hour before the intermission. For people who love reading, Catch-22 is the book to go to!! All these are so relaxing in the short term, but its better to avoid an obsession!! Like watching 20 episodes together :D!! 

So I have penned down 7 points that personally has helped me. Listening to music, praying and meditation also have been suggested!! Overcoming a low point does not mean becoming successful instantaneously(though this is the ultimate goal), but losing the fear of failure. And a few concluding points, begin to enjoy spending time with yourself. If you cant spend time with yourself, no one else will :P and you cant expect others to also. And do forgive yourself and dont ruminate in the past!! We all make mistakes but shd learn from them and move on. Make mistakes but never repeat them an interesting article by harsha bogle.. If someone says "I have never made mistakes in my life" the person must have died 10 minutes after his/her birth :D!!

Any success after you have  buried your lows tastes a lot better(A feeling eternally cheerful cannot have :P). One can savor it like a Mysore pak attired with ghee melting in your mouth!! Even if one cant control his/her emotions, the actions can always be controlled. I do think that the mental well being does not get as much recognition as it deserves. Life is too short to have regrets and like krishna said, "Live life king size". If you think there are other methods that could help ppl, share for sure.  And dont hesitate to get professional help if you think its necessary!!