My journey to a new land

There have been times when I desperately wanted something to happen, regardless of how it affected the people around me. I always knew while leaving for MS it sure is gonna make my parents emotional and there are very few ways to console them. So it all started at 0430 hrs at the Chennai airport. I waved goodbye to my emotionally drenched parents (Especially mom). Waving goodbye to them, knowing that the chances of meeting them in person is very remote for the next two years, made me mentally weak, though I was looking completely stoic in the outside. I entered the luggage lounge for weighing my luggage and all my grief jus evaporated. I had taken a huge risk by exhausting my package options and the luggage weight overshoot a bit. First time travelling abroad, I sure was tensed and spent the next half juggling the excess luggage between the multiple bags I had and decided with a heavy heart to discard a few things. I was seriously thanking my lucky stars, that three other college mates were flying with me, which reduced my possible “emotional athyachar” significantly. Once I got through the luggage part successfully, I had to do On airport check in and in reality I was very lucky not too have been questioned by the BA officials about my bulging Laptop bag and an incredibly heavy hand baggage ( a monstrous 17 kg ) . I am proud that I filled my bags to maximum possible extent, only missing out on a maximum 100 gms of the allowed Baggage limit. After this point it was like the entire universe was conspiring to help me complete my journey successfully. So we( myself, ashwin, Swami, Anto) checked in, luckily getting seats close to each other in both the flights we were to travel. Next was the immigration check and security check. In between we squeezed out couple of moments to again wave goodbye to our parents. The latter was nothing like what I imagined. The entire process was very smooth and once the security fellow understood that we are students, they did not create much fuss, and the entire process was done with in a flash. Couple of them even wished us luck. The time was around 0730 hrs IST and we had settled in settled in peacefully waiting with relief for or flights. I was very happy to see a couple of my friends remember my exact time of departure and to see their texts wishing me luck for my journey. Special thanks for them. I kept calling my parents at sporadic intervals till I entered the flight.

We Boarded the flight at around 0800 hrs IST. First we passed the business class and the look was very exotic. We settled in comfortably i our seats. While keeping my hand luggage in the over head cabin, I was frightened by one of the BA crew that I might not have a smooth ride during my transit hours because of the shear of volume and the size of it. Not exactly the smooth start I expected, but who cares. They sure are not going to throw off my luggage after travelling 5000 miles to London. I settled into my seat. It was a middle one and I had a foreigner with a funky beard to my right and probably a mallu NRI uncle to my left, who was off to sleep in a flash and slept for incredibly the entire flight journey. The foreigner spoke little English and my interactions with him were limited to odd “thank yous” and “sorrys”. The customary safety precautions and other trivial stuffs took up much of the next half an hour. Over a point I restlessly began to wait for the entertainment (video option) to start and I understood that sitting in the middle is so much pain and mobility is curtailed to a limited amounts of stretches. Once we took off, i was eagerly waiting for movies and food. But man I was disappointed by both. Food was a big letdown. We were served a tasteless masala dosa and equally grotesque Uppuma along 2 different bread varieties with cheese. Only saving grace was the brilliant coffee. The movies section also was disappointing. While they stuck to mostly “English” Hollywood movies, most of the sitcoms were American. So one episode of Simpsons and Big Bang followed by movies like, Butch classidy and the Sundance kid, The Ghost writer, The Boy side, Date Knight and a few other fill ins. After a fairly mundane 10 hours of flight¸ sparkled by free chocolates only, I was rather glad to stretch my legs in one of the best I airports in the word, the sparkling brilliant Londan “the Hethrew”.

Here again we went through an elaborate checking and were pleased to get thru without any hick-ups . The BA guys having butchered 2out of 6 hrs of our transit we sat in the Beautiful BA travelling lounge. Again it was pretty much uneventful. Luckily we got some wifi. Thanks to ashwin we had some food to eat. The airport was damn costly. I did chat with a few friends and also roamed ard the terminal 5 (BA’s home terminal). So after whiling away 3 hours we went to the gate through which we were supposed to leave. Another 20 minutes wait before we entered the flight. It was a very interesting flight as it was supposed to be only for an hour. But inreality we flew just for 40 minutes. We just had time to have snacks. Before we finished those we landed. I was hardly like a flight journey.

Then after we landed in Amsterdam, I was sort of feeling so happy. One reason being able to cut off from all the anxiety of a possible crash and other being getting to a new place and milieu that could light up my semi monotonous life that had numbed me for the past 3 months. The first things I noticed about the Netherlands once stepped into the airport was the noiselessness that had engulfed the entire place. It was not like the place was sparsely crowed, but the people hardly talked to each other. We were about half an hour early and now we had to spend a minimum of 10 hrs in the airport. We got our luggage safe and sound(hopefully :P. I am yet to unpack). Thank god there were four of us. My self and anto ate the chapathis that my mom made with out any side dish :P, while swami and ashwin went for Wifi Hunting. There were no free Wifi on offer. we settled ourselves nicely in a corner and slept on the chair. Ashwin was awake all the night safeguarding our luggage. And finally woke up at around 6. Almost all of us were awake. We brushed and finally set off to buy something. My first expenditure was to buy a cappuccino and an apple. The cost was 1.95 Euros. Man I surely miss the staff canteen :P. The welcome party arrived at sharp eight. We then registered and got our welcome packs. We were ppl with maximum luggage.

Hardly faced with problems, I got my first rude shock when I found out that my accommodation was changed at the last moment. I had never heard of the building that I am going to live. We went to delft in a Bus. Again the journey was short and sweet. I was one of the last persons to get off from the bus as my acco was the furthest from the university. Initially when the delft left there, I had to go to the 5 floor all by myself with 3 trolleys and a laptop bag. Thanks to 2 african students I successfully moved my luggage to mu room. The rooms were way better than the accommodation that I had actually paid for. After conformation from the university that no extra money will be collected, there was sigh of relief. But still I did not have net and had no means for contacting other people. Thanks my host (a student of TU Delft who comes to my room and makes sure I have settled in properly), I contacted the good news of arrival. After 2 days of roaming around delft, meeting new people I now have both internet connection as well as a mobile number. As wise men say, alls well that ends well. Looking forward to Study at TU delft. I will upload photos soon.

Nagesh - The Comedian and more.

In this blog I have written my tributes to the greats of tamil cinema, Sivaji Ganesan and Illayraja. Third in the series is the tribute to one of my favorite actors of all time.

Last year when one Nagesh, the comedian par excellence died, I was not mourning, rather a comedy of his came to mind and I was smiling. This is the charisma of the legendary comedian. He is one of the actors I have seen in person. I saw him in a GURUPOOJA (for going to Sabarimala temple) in chennai. He was humility personified. Ironically The Great Kamal Hasan Reciprocated my thoughts saying,
"The greatness of the man is that even as we are mourning his passing away and crying, you are reminded of some 'Nagesh joke,' which will make you laugh instantly. The only photograph I have in my office is that of him and me. I am such a huge fan."
In spite of having a very crappy personal life, his on screen exploits left the audiences in splits. Mostly self taught, his inspiration was the American actor, Jerry lewis. But most of his quirks were borrowed from daily life instances. The famous climax of the movie "Server sundaram" was inspired by his real life. His biggest regret is that he could not meet his mother in her death bed. The scene in the movie in which as an actor he completes the scene knowing that his mother had died melts the hearts of millions even today.



He was born in Tumkur, Karnataka. Chasing his dream, he came to chennai. There he stayed in a one-room bed-sit at West Mambalam with lyricist Vaali and actor Srikanth. He found a small time job in the Railways and this was not sufficient to keep himself and to feed him three meals a day. He used to work in dramas and also in films in small roles. He got a big break in a Balaji film. But it was director K. Balachandar who gave a turning point in Nagesh's career. He believed that an actor can learn from watching life and it's characters. He often sat in his car in busy roadsides and watched the people on the streets to grasp the mannerisms of people that he would later reproduce on screen.His career spanned several decades, across successive generations of heroes and directors. While there is no doubt about his contribution to comedy, his fans recall his ability to play serious roles evocatively, as in Neer Kumuzhi and Ethir Neechal.



He was widely respected by his contemporaries. Mehmood, once introduced Ngesh to his friends and said ' This is Nagesh the man responsible for my existence as an actor. Everything i know i have learn t it from him' He is close friends with Actors Kamal, Cho Ramaswamy and Manorama (THough after a small difference of opinion they stopped acting together). Nagesh is very well known for his dancing skills. But few know that when he entered the tamil cinema is hardly knew anything about dancing. Choreographer Sundaram once recalled how Nagesh turned from a no dancer to a good dancer in just one movie (Server Sundaram) through his determination and hard work.

No one can portray a character with Inferiority Complex like him. Most of the Comedian actors always make fun of others, or delivering uncouth dialogues, but Nagesh never chose to do that. In his latter years, he portrayed character roles with aplomb. His roles in "Nammavar", "Devar magan", "vassol Raja" proved his worth as an character artist. Eventually his chronic drinking and smoking habits led to his Death. He had notable personal feuds with MGR and "achi" Manoramma.

Sadly he was never recognised with awards by either the state nor central governments. Government should at least posthumously award him a Dada Saheb Palke award and a Padma Shri. Thanks Nagesh Sir for giving us Years of Happiness through your unforgettable roles. What Kannadasan said will fit you perfectly 'nee niranadharamanavan azhivadhillai, endha nilaiyilum unaaku maranamillai'. As expected I will finish this article with a smile in my face.

Expectations from change.

Change is something that we cannot change. A riddle can only engross you until you solve it. As said by many philosophers, life is interesting as long as you dont know what is in store. Like watching a thriller movie. If you watch the climax first, there is no use watching the entire movie as you wont be drawn by the suspense. One thing is certain as we can never be satisfied with what we have and we always yearn to taste success. One of the side effects of developing a purpose and life and pursuing it is discouragement, coming from the difference between having a strong vision and the time it takes to bring it into being.

Discouragement primarily comes from not managing your expectations and thinking things will happen faster than they really are able to. And a close kin of discouragement is fear.You can't wish a change away. Your life would become more engaging and bountiful, when you can let go of your fear.

"Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight.
Instead, failure is a few errors in judgement, repeated every day."
-- Jim Rohn

Fear of failure should act as a constant impetus for our quest of success. Our own experiences can teach us a lot. Introspection allows us to see something that we have overlooked or fear to admit for a long time. There are several psychological theories like the "Butterfly effect", "Murphy's Law". These law show how fragile a man's confidence is and how frightened he is to do something without talking about the results his action could bring to him. A person without doubt is very comfortable in the surroundings in which he grew up. He/She is fostered in a protective shell by parents, teachers, kins so that when we break free we can stand on own. We cannot expect the shielding to protect us long. When we break the shackles and enter the new horizon,

People who are passionate about growing are never afraid of a change. To them change is simply another way of taking charge and living fully. Irrelevant of their positions in life, they know that it is of utmost importance to keep an open mind and be alert in spirit. For nothing in life ever stays the same. See yourself emerging from fear/change wholesome, peaceful and invincible. Feel the joy of being in charge and the triumph of knowing the fear is only a shadow.

Several psychologists have come up with their own theories for controlling fear. But human mind is something that can spring a surprise anytime. For these are the same fear that haunts me. I really hope I along with a host of my batchmates travel a long distance with the hope that we can be successful and I really hope we can overcome the impediments, fears and achieve our goals.

Pride.

hey guys this is the first of hopefully many short stories that i plan to publish in this blog. read them and enjoy.

A car strolled majestically and stopped near the corner. A handsome young man got down and approached me. He politely asked me,”Good Morning Sir! Do you remember me?” I was taken aback. When most of my former students come to visit me, they would either be in high school or college, but never a young man at his prime. I couldn’t recognize him as I have taught umpteen number of students over the past 30 years. “Sorry son, pardon me. I don’t remember you.” “Sir, I am Maasilamani. You were my class teacher in class 8.. You were my social science teacher then. I am the fellow who hoisted the flag from the garbage. “ And like a flash I could remember that incident.

It was in the spring of 93. A boy was going to school. I could recognize him as one of my students who was not that bright and was an introvert. Out of nowhere he went to the garbage heap that was lying along the road side and it seemed to me that he was trying to find something. He took out a dirty bit of cloth form there and was dusting it. It took me more than an instant to understand that he had taken a disposed national flag from the rags. He took it to the flag post round the corner which hosted a political party flag. He removed the flag and hoisted the national flag with a pride that only a true patriot can feel.

“Oh yes, I do remember you. How are you ad what are you doing now? “ He responded “ I own a small IT outsourcing company.” I was bit surprised as I did not except a leader out of him. He continued, ” If you could remember I was not a charismatic student. I was very low on self confidence and it was only because of you that I have become a success in my life. “ I was elated, but had no clue how I had changed exponentially improved the esteem of a person without my knowledge.

Seeing my confusion, the boy continued.” When I had hoisted the flag, that very day in the class you had in front of all the students said about what I had done and add to that asked the entire class to give a standing ovation. For the first time in my life a teacher had addressed me in the class and I was the center of things happening in the class. That incident had a life changing effect in me. My self belief grew and I began to feel confident about myself. And that was the focal point of success in my life. As a token of gratitude I had bought this Parker pen for you. “

Saying so he extended the pen for me to accept. But this was more special. I had accomplished what every teacher dreams to achieve. There can be no greater award for me. I wished him good luck and continued on. I felt as if I was floating through my path. With the pen in my pocket glowing with pride I entered the class full of buds awaiting fresh sun rays.

SRIRAM

Thillalangadi - Movie Review

I am a movie buff. I love watching movies that are entertaining at the same makes you think a little bit. So when I entered this movie, my expectations were almost zilch. The track record of the most original copy-cats (The brothers Raja- Ravi's 5ht remake from gult flicks.) of tamil cinema has been simply awesome. They are yet to taste sour grapes. The movies they selected for remakes have also been very sensible. But for once they have erred. This is an inspired scene to scene remake of the telugu movie "kick" by Ravi teja. This movie is devoid of all the basic logic. Normally, Raja is very careful about the remakes he chooses for Ravi, as he knows his brother’s pluses and minuses, like the back of his hand. However this is the weakest film of the brothers to date.

Story is as dumb as a person with an IQ of 30. A guy and girl meet in the train to discuss abt their possible nuptial bond. They talk abt their life. (Possibly the dumbest ever dialogues you could ever hear in a movie.) They as usual tlk aout the same person. For nisha (Tammanna ) he was an eccentric lover who broke her heart. And for Krishna kumar (Poor Shaam ) its a con man whom he is not able to catch not becas shaam is incompetent or Krishana (Jayam Ravi ) is ET, its because our protagonist is hero and the writer wanted him to win :P. They decide to marry each other.

And as usual our super hero ends up in Malaysia, where the crap had been happening. And this hero is the nth portrayal of Robin hood, n tending to infinity wins back his gal and finally ends up being a cop. U are confused. U are sure to be. To be entirely honest, we don’t quite understand what the film was trying to say in the first place. Is the hero justified by his activities for the simple reason that he does it for the kick of it? Ok, you want to establish the hero as a Robin Hood who robs from rich politicians and help poor children in need of medical attention. Nothing wrong in it, but make it a little more convincing. The humour is ordinary, and the climax heist that the hero attempts is the most embarrassing one you can remember in recent times.

There is a huge cast in this movie. and the only person who makes this watchable is Mansoor ali khan as the inspector. His sequences are truely hilarious. Vadivelu is at his irritating best, while poor santhanam and shaam have no clue what they are doing!. Ravi has tried hard. But every time he says kick, u feel that he deserves a hard punch right in his nose. Tammana with every passing film has opted to reduce the surface area of her dress. At this rate she would be a baywatch star by her 30th film. Other than being eye candy she is useless. Also for three hours it tests ur patience.

But on the positive side the comedy is good in the first half. Not sure why stalwarts like Prabu and suhasini accepted to do their roles. But I do have a feeling, whether this movie can be treated a spoof movie? If so its a better spoof than "Tamil Padam" . Songs are Terrible. Length is a yawning 3 hours. Man its a movie I would rate as 1/5 just for mansoor ali khan.

An Ode Of Respect to the mastreo

There was a time when I never listened to any sort of music. Every time I watched a movie and a song came, I invariably used to change channels. I somehow never understood the need of songs. I went to music class for 5 years. They say if you are trained in something at a very young age, you master it. But even the most trivial of the adages have exceptions and I sure was one. I went to music classes only to enjoy the play after classes. Testimony to that was I was still in Varnam ( something similar to II level in learning the carnatic music to which people graduate in about 8 months :P) after 5 years of torturing 2 different music teachers. So what made a Gyanasuniam (devoid of a scent of talent) a good listener. There was this song from the film jhonny. "En Vaniley" a beautiful song of a genre I dont know, but with such soulful music , coupled with a soulful voice of Jency (she sang only ard 20 songs),made me listen to a full song in a movie for the first time.U can also listen it here. And it was a different sensation all together. An experience that all of us have gone through and I, for the first time :).

It was composed by my all time favorite composer, the ascetic Illayraja. I wanted to write about him for a long time. I was actually afraid that whatever I write would never befit a man of such herculean persona and musical talent. I can never appreciate the nuances of his musical brilliance. But I had to write whatever I felt about him. Every known emotion to me is associated with a raaja song. It has been just a previlage to be his fan. One of the best things to come out of his music is that I started enjoying my solitude. Leave me to my raaja collection and I can live through worst of times with ease.  For me raaja is just synonyms with music and emotions.

 He is one of the few who comes from a back ground that is different from music. He hails from a family of communists. Once in an interview, SPB had told about how he and illayraja had struggled in their formative years. Like any other musician of his era, he was overshadowed by the shear brilliance of his contemporary MS Vishwanathan, another legendary composer. But instead of waiting for his big breaks, he used his time to to learn about music. He studied western music in the Madras Music college. He also worked as assistant to many music directors through out India. He got his big break courtesy the producer Panchu Arunachalam. And as they say the rest is history.

So what is different in illayraaja that makes him unique? His humility. His dedication to work.  For composing music to any movie, he makes sure that he listens to the entire plot before composing. Another brilliant aspect of his music is the importance he gives to the lyrics. His combo with lyricist vaali is electric. Its sad that nowadays there are very few nowadays who give importance to lyrics. For those who are interested how the combo works, you can listen to a track in "Oru naan oru kanavu" on how the duo came up with the composition and lyrics for the song, "Kaartril varum geetham". Another testimony of the importance he gives to lyrics is the movie "Bommu Kutti Ammavuku". "Uyire Uyirin" song from that movie could compared with the very best of international music. Another one is "kalyana malai" from "puthuthu puthu arthangal". And the list is quite a huge one.

Yes he does have his own negatives. Like sticking to a small group singers, Not venturing out of his comfort zone and doing many solo albums etc. Like many others he has also copied a few songs. Like "kanavu kanum vazkai" was from "Kasme vaade pyar" or the famous "Neer Veezhchi Thee Mootudhae" is used multiple number of times over 10 yrs. Also the Mouna Ragam BGM is inspired from "love theme" by Georgio Moroder.

He is a very private person who rarely interacts with the media. He has admitted that he was an atheist to begin with later to become a staunch believer in his latter years. In one of his recent interviews, he was quizzed what thinks about the new trend of songs that are being dished out! His retorted back saying that if he feels that the new trend is bad and not good, his mind is obsolete and he has no right to compete. His admiration of MSV is well documented. Here is an extract from the Hindu, on the evening when MSV was honored. I cam across a very rare interview of illayraja with the frontline that I am sharing. What ever I write would never suffice a complete testimony. But for me he is someone who made me a good music listener and opened up a whole new world for me to cherish. The Debates like MSV vs Illayraja, Illayraaja vs ARR are all futile and all are great composers. We are lucky to have been contemporaries to them.

The Girl/lady in the pink nite pant.

Our eclectic group of friends and former classmates went to a movie. Being a small town movie theater, there was hardly the comfort and the exorbitance of a metro multi-plex. But that is compensated by the fact that you invariably see one of your long lost friends there every time you visit. Yesterday night we went to a movie 'Madrasapattinam'. It was an ok movie at best with blistering art and camera work and a petty story. So we went for the night show. We were one the first people to enter the cinema hall. I stood in the queue waiting for the my turn to get the tickets. Since I had a few friends with me it was good time pass. We were just making random comments and enjoying the moment. As it was looking like another normal night in the theater, everything was about to change. The night was made momentous by the entry of someone whom I had never seen before.

Wearing a nice white T-shirt, a pink night dress a combination that I would have instantly linked to ramarajan, ( a legendary tamil actor known for him atrocious on screen color combinations, something like bright green shirts and golden bottoms!! somebody match that!!!! ) and crack a sarcastic pj. But today I was simply awed by what she was draped in! I was disappointed that there are separate queues for males and females. She walked closer and closer and stood in the not so crowded line. Initially I did not see anybody with her. But I knew for sure that no girl in neyveli would would come alone to the theater that too for the night show. She was no extraordinary beauty, but had the elegance to captivate the beholders. I was talking to a friend who was standing next to me, but my yearning to catch a sight of her. Songs like "aval apadi onrum azhagilai and "khudha jaane" we begining to ring inside my head. I was paying great attention to what she was doing. I was keenly observing each of her movements, her mood as well as her body language. For once I felt like Ridley Scot.

Just as I was enjoying the picturesque sight in front of me, people started leaving the hall from the previous show. The ticket counter situated in the entrance, was the first place where the commotion hit after people a few happy and a few frustrated descended the steps and started moving to the adjacent vehicle stand. I was badly cursing those who were blocking my view though only momentarily. I wanted no one to disturb me. There are few things that u can ill afford to miss. And for me she was one.

But alas tragedy struck finally (as usual). I found sindhur in her scalp, in between two combed parts of her hair locks. The way usually married women keep in our place. For a moment I was dumbfounded. I could not believe my eyes. I checked and rechecked, once, twice and I dont know how many times. I saw a hefty man coming and holding her hands, after she got the tickets. They happily chatting went inside unaware that a heart had been broken. Knock out punch done and dusted. Why should all the girls I like be out of my reach? Why on earth this women so beautiful marry so soon. Why did that ********* marry her so soon!! From khudha janne it was "You are beautiful" by James Blunt ringing in my mind now. What a transformation!

My shoulders drooped, my poise dashed. I found couple of my friends standing next to me sharing the same feeling. We all so hoped that we would be competitors only to find that we had been disqualified even before the competition began.

As we were in the nadir of our disappointment, suddenly it was spring time again. It was once again time for khuda jaane. Another beauty in a green-white chuddidar was walking right in front of us. Remorse was rejoice now. Only we were unaware that we for long have been part of a never ending vicious circle.