The forceful companion

Retrieved from google images

You earthly passe with no form,
With a diabolical control over me,
You raise above the mundane norm,
And support like a root to a tree.

Fair is not a word I associate with you,
Neither do you connect with the people around,
Nor can you take my cue,
And after all you dont make me proud.

Not even death can extricate me
from your insatiable wantings
For somehow, you’ve embedded yourself
even in my own dark death wish

My majestic ego, neither can I embrace nor let you go,
You protect me and propel me to successes,
Pick me up when I am down, But only I know,
That there is no Victory at all against the fascist self.

Bidding addieu to the Gentleman cricketer - Rahul Dravid

For the past 15 years, if there had been a sporting icon, whose career grew along with me, and I had the pleasure to experience his ups and downs, it has to be Rahul Dravid. When he burst into the scene, people hardly noticed him. "Over shadowed by others" was the norm of his career until the England series in 2011. I remember my granny calling him a Dhravam (literally meaning acid), because he just used to stick to the crease scoring at a snail's pace. But if there is a competition for the biggest Jammy fans around, I am sure I would be somewhere near the very top!! I enjoy every aspect of his game. I have been disappointed by him a few times, but then he is also a human being. I read really a lot of wonderful tributes when he retired. Though coming at later than most, I just want to express my gratitude to my sports hero for making association with cricket really enjoyable.

The earliest memories for me is the indian tour of west indies in 97!! So many scores in 80s and 90s against last of good bowling units WI had. In his second year he almost became a mainstay of indian test team. And then came the worst phase of his career. A trination involving india zim and kenya! and mind you India lost the tournament. India collectively played poorly and for the first time dravid was dropped from the team. But when recalled, he had an amazing tour of new zealand and as they often say, "The rest is history". I can write 2 more pages fully filled with facts about records dravid holds. A fellow blogger of mine has articulated it wonderfully well. You can read it here . All I can say is that, if I am batting I would only want dravid at the other end. I am sure I will break many records!! :D

So why do I rather respect him so much?  I Learnt the following things from him,

1. Importance of being patient, from the way he waits for the scoring opportunities.
2. Importance of hardwork. Just from the way he transformed himself from technically efficient blocker to one of the finest all round batsman. Starting as a predominantly leg side player, he has developed in his armory one of the most classic cover drives of the game.
3. How to adapt to change. He has had success in all types of pitches and bowling attacks. He has scored centuries batting at all the 7 positions. Just when was made captain, the spark in his batting was lost a bit. But he was one of the first captains to use batting powerplay efficiently. (England touring india in 2006-07) 
4. Actions are always louder than words. "Just look at his records." 
5. Being diplomatic - I can remember Dravid loosing his cool only twice in his entire career. Against Donald in Jburg in 98 and Micheal Slater at Mumbai in 2001.
6. Playing to your strengths. Dravid never changed his approach to the game. He built his game around his core strength, playing a technically sound game. Even for T 20!! 

There are a few things in which he has disappointed me.

1. Never handled the pressure of leading a team properly. Thats a fact. 
2. Never stood up for ganguly against chapell. Being his deputy he must have stood up for Ganguly. 
3. Long standing cold war between Dravid and Sachin with the later boycotting Dravid's felicitation and Dravid failing to mention Sachin in his speech. It was just sad. Not at all a good precedent.
4. Should have retired after the England series. Or after scoring a century at Bangalore. He failed to leave with a bang. :(.

But any how the positives easily outweigh the negatives. My favorites include,

Fav Innings : Definitely has to be the one against the english in Headingly. On a green top, a magnificent show of defensive batting. Ganguly made a bold decision of selecting 2 spinners on a green top. And won the toss and selected to bat also!! Because he had easily the most inform player in the world cricket then. Any highlights package u will watch on youtube will show his fifty in just a minute. But mind you it took him more than 50 fifty overs to reach the milestone. Easily one of the best innings I have ever seen. My favorite Dravid innings and one where india won because of a complete team effort.

Fav Shot: Has to be the leg glance through mid wicket. Not many players can play it like him. But if there is a shot that will remain in my mind, it will be the six he hit of murali against Sri Lanka in 1999 world cup. Have a look at this shot. Hoisting the best off spinner in the world over covers for a six.

Contemporaries who were his competition: OK no Sachin here. He is different from Dravid at every level. There are 3 players who come to mind. Kallis, Chandrepaul and Damien Martin. These players cannot be compared!!

So thank you Dravid, for making my student life really interesting. It was great following your career and hopefully I will be able to watch a Rajasthan Royals game before you totally retire from all forms of cricket!!  Rahul Sharad Dravid - Hats off to you!!

The Vicious circle

"And the second prize in oration goes to Ramesh of 6th C." Hearing a huge round of applause, he felt elated!! Infact the happiness clouded his vision, and he could hear his heart thump. Like a levitated iron filling he was gliding through and reached the stage to collect his prize. He just grabbed the packaged item from a suited up possibly very important person. He ran back to his classroom neglecting all the ppl who wanted to congratulate him. Dialed his mom's number. He was really eager to talk to her now. "Amma, I got second prize in oration competition." "Congrats kanna. Very good, lets celebrate today evening. Where would you like to go tonight for dinner?" "Lets go to dinner with dad. Call him also!! Meeting him once a month is not enough for me." His main elation behind winning prize was that he could show it to his father. Though they meet once a month, his father is almost never impressed by him. His father is the chairman of the local chapter of toastmasters and will be proud when he hears about his son's prize!! That was the logic behind his outworldy elation for a simple prize. So all that had to be done is hope that his mom arranges the dinner. Then his phone rang. "He has agreed to come for the dinner." "Great mom!! Lets go to the Mauryas."  Then he proceeded to call his dad. "Hello, Appa, I got second prize in oration." "Good ramesh. See appa is a bit busy now. Let me hear more about this during the dinner. Dont trouble mom too much."   This was rather an abrupt end to a long awaited call.

On the other end, he was rather relieved. His son has done it again. Yet again he has another chance to meet her. Though he was relieved when the divorce went through about an year back, the separation did hurt him badly. He still had his ego to content with. He was not ready to accept this and resolve the issues. But still wanted to meet her whenever he could. And the only way he could do that was through his son. He made it a point to meet his son atleast once a month. And thus meet her also. So he called her "Suji! Ramesh had called me. I want to give him some gift. What do you think I can buy for him?" "Come on, you are also his parent. You should know something about him also." "Come on suji!! He lives with you. So I just want to know what he would like now." "He just wants your presence. So dont disappoint him." And the line went dead. Another much awaited call resulting in a disappointment.

On the other end, there was another person who was rather relieved. She had done what she could to please her son. She loves him very much and readily talked with the one person whom she would avoid under all other circumstances. She even initiated  the talk. But still her son hardly notices this. He takes it for granted. He craves for the acceptance of his father and grossly neglects the one person who is ready to sacrifice anything for him. How could she make him realize this. "Hello kanna, should I pick you up from school. I thought before going for dinner with dad we will go to your favorite ice cream parlor." "No need amma. I will come with my friends as usual." "Ok. Just be careful." "When did you make the reservation?" "Its at 7 30 in Mauryas as you wanted." "Great amma. Just dont fight with him again today. I want a peaceful dinner with dad." And the line went dead again. Another call ending in disappointment.

If  only someone had the will to break the Vicious circle.

Tanquillity Blankness and And a two year anniversary

Its been long since I wrote a post about random things!! This is because its never easy to be truthful to your thoughts, and its even more difficult to pen down truths. After a tough three months, I am now back to the familiar surroundings!! And I have been dodging all familiar "what are u going to do after graduation" question! Dodging it here too, i will move on to a thing that I know the answer for sure. How long have I been blogging??  Its been 2 years since I started doing serious blogging. 2 long years of knowing myself and enjoying the beauty of sharing with others, my creative thoughts.

Though my blog title says "I just write for myself", every time I come to my blog, I do hope for a new comment. I have got only 3 comments from ppl unknown till now. Only 3!! Possibly I should start writing some controversial thing!! Naa, not worth it. Initially I used to advertise every new post in multiple sources, but now have cut down on that too. I will not be advertise this post too. But from the next post will be back to posting on several networking sites.  It’s not a crime to expect abundant adulation for what one believes is true talent. Lolz!! 


I wanted to write something straight from the heart!! But bed is calling and sleep is finally knocking my door!! So thank you readers, followers and ppl who commented on this blog!! Good bye for now!! 

To be or not to be!!

Along the banks of the river Rhine,
I walk along searching for words that rhyme,
To mask the thoughts about the past,
And forget the deed i detest the most,

Connecting to you is out of my reach,
So i talk to my soul but cant preach,
“Get past the error and move on with a smile,
It was petty but not vile, To invoke such a strong rile,"

The hope of seeing the light in my paths ahead,
And reflecting off  the confused soul inside,
Wanting but not waiting for a milestone,
Or a noble comrade to guide,

But now the broken pride gleaming bright,
Clouding the trust I broke,
Taking solace that I at least again tried,
To mend, swallowing my pride,

Marauding on carrying a latent pain with glee,
I am soft, but not weak to again plea,
The optimist in me will always hope,
Possibly in vain that "that angel" in you will be invoked,

True to the words of L.Cohen,
"Like a bird on a wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir,
I have tried in my way to be free"

Over coming Depression /Mood swings

Recently I read somewhere that 1 out every 10 persons have clinical depression at some point of their life. Here u can find a few signs. But these are sort of extreme. Is it not? Most of us have lows and at some point feel empty and useless, though not clinically depressed!! Listed below are a few instantaneous remedies that have been beneficial for me. Please do remember its a personal opinion and I am no shrink!!  

Physical health vs mental health:
Physical fitness is an important aspect of our well being. It also has immense power to cheer us up!! A brisk walk, a long run, a nice cycle ride  etc!! Endurance sports other than making us physically fit, do impact our self confidence in a positive way. Personally I have 2 suggestions:

1. Running!! A simple way to relax yourself!! But we do need a motivation to run and sometimes its boring. But if u begin to enjoy running, its a wonderful self relaxing tool and u can never suffer from insomnia. Here is a useful link for wannable runners. U can follow the schedule even if u dont wanna run a half marathon!!
2. 100 pushups A friend of mine suggested this website to me!! Its an interesting scheduling and if we can do 100 push ups in 6 weeks we can do almost everything :D!!

So when your mood swings are gone, u would be in an awesome physical shape also!! Sorry Gautham Menon for laughing at you after watching Vaaranam Aayiram!! (The protagonist overcomes depression by getting a 6 pack which was ludicrous for me then!!)

Work Work Work!!

"Idle mind is a devil's workshop". So when you are feel low, keep yourself as much busy as possible!! If possible work 18 hrs a day!! So working means not just your professional life, but doing anything and everything!! Other than sleeping you must have almost no time to contemplate!! Working could be learning new things, doing some chores that you have been postponing or anything!! It could need no intellectual demand or it could drain your brain!! The latter is better. Learn new things, explore new stuffs. If you see its a superset of the previous point!! But it is very difficult as we are hardly at our productive best when not cheerful!! But who cares about productivity when one is feeling low :P!!

Target Small successes!!

Its mostly the time when we wont have much personal successes that u are feeling low. So a nice way to cheer ourselves would be to   break our day today activities into small competitions or trials!! Like if you are daily catching ur train at a particular time, leave your house 5 min late and try to catch the train on time! Dont ask me what will happen if I miss the train??? I have no answer!! But If you can catch the train, you have actually won something!! Savor that!! Build on such small things!! Making a schedule and sticking to it, winning a freecell game, completing an easy task quicker than usual  are some other examples!! Build on these small successes!! Again if you carefully analyse, its a superset of points mentioned above and is possibly the most difficult of the three points till now!!

Mother Nature!!
It is good to appreciate the things around us. Mother nature has so many things  serene and eclectic, that have the power to cheer us up.  This is the only thing that requires absolutely no effort from us. The beaches, cheerful chirpy birds, a calm sunrise or a sunset, a bunch of kids playing and many more.   

Have a creative outlet!!

Thats where hobbies are so wonderful. Do something so you can play the role of a creator!! And importantly appreciate it yourself than expecting others to do so. So blogging, writing, singing, dancing, photography, cooking and even playing sports!! Dennis Bergkamp for me is as creative as Pablo Picasso. Also try to pen your thoughts in a dairy or MS Word file. It has a two way benefit. You can understand better why u are/were depressed and have a hearty laugh when you go through those stuffs again at a later time.

Share if possible!!

Its always easy to share one's success. But we rarely share our fears and insecurities. Its always good to have a few ppl with whom you can do this and who are ready to accept you for what you are, rather than for what  you have done. But please make sure you select the right people!! Because this is a double edged sword and can have serious detrimental effect also.  And not always people will have time for you!!

 Seinfeld, panchatantiram and catch 22

If an episode of seinfeld cant cheer you up, better take up professional help. For tamil movie fans, watch panchatatantiram - the kamal classic especially the half an hour before the intermission. For people who love reading, Catch-22 is the book to go to!! All these are so relaxing in the short term, but its better to avoid an obsession!! Like watching 20 episodes together :D!! 

So I have penned down 7 points that personally has helped me. Listening to music, praying and meditation also have been suggested!! Overcoming a low point does not mean becoming successful instantaneously(though this is the ultimate goal), but losing the fear of failure. And a few concluding points, begin to enjoy spending time with yourself. If you cant spend time with yourself, no one else will :P and you cant expect others to also. And do forgive yourself and dont ruminate in the past!! We all make mistakes but shd learn from them and move on. Make mistakes but never repeat them an interesting article by harsha bogle.. If someone says "I have never made mistakes in my life" the person must have died 10 minutes after his/her birth :D!!

Any success after you have  buried your lows tastes a lot better(A feeling eternally cheerful cannot have :P). One can savor it like a Mysore pak attired with ghee melting in your mouth!! Even if one cant control his/her emotions, the actions can always be controlled. I do think that the mental well being does not get as much recognition as it deserves. Life is too short to have regrets and like krishna said, "Live life king size". If you think there are other methods that could help ppl, share for sure.  And dont hesitate to get professional help if you think its necessary!! 

Inception

"When I opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. The red lighting, the slippery ground and the entire environ  had a eerie  feeling to it. How did I get inside and where was I? And why am I not "there"  I absolutely had no strength. All I saw was huge strands of slimy red pipes. Like a new born baby I was confused. The voice in my mind was echoing that I had to reach my destination and wake my master off his slumber. The time left is so little. Slowly I gathered all my buffer strength, I stood up and looked around. I started running like it was the end of the world.  I was in a maze. Neither in the middle nor at the end. I need to communicate and do it fast.

As I moved along the labyrinth, i sensed the presence of others. Others who were just like me. Not all of us can reach the master. I have to be the one. For my masters sake. I saw an open door and started running. Two of us were running towards it. The cynic I was, i tripped "the other" off the path and entered the door. Its the survival of the fittest and there is no time reminiscing whats happening around you. For all the effort this could be the wrong door.  Still  my path to my destination is not clear.This could after all not be the right path. And yet I could be right there and not know that for a fact.Now and then I poked around the wall to find something or trigger something. To make my presence felt I was hitting the side walks again and again. I know my master is looking for me. I am the answer to his quest. But this maze is starting to piss me off.

Suddenly the light went off and everything turned pitch dark. A big jerk pushed me off my feet. I exactly know what my master is trying to do. He would be in pain. Its his SOS call. Come on do something!! Something fast!! Its almost the end And back came the light. Probability of finding the destination is only 0.2. I hate the mathematicians. Why did he not take the damn pills or do some yoga??? But I am not gonna give up. Just then I got a thought. I broke of the electric connections around the corner. It was a high voltage connection. And I rammed it into the slimy red wall. It sent a shock wave around. I know i am almost there. Its now or never with all my might for one last time and I rammed it in. BOOM."

Its  the bloody Van der waals force. He hit his head hard again with the pencil for not remembering it earlier. And he wrote it down in his answer sheet.